Masturbation is a natural, safe, healthy and pleasurable way to explore your body. However, because most people didn’t receive a comprehensive sex education, there remains some confusion, shame or questions around self-stimulation.
As a sexologist, I love reading your masturbation questions. Curiosity can beget a healthy and pleasurable sex life, whether you’re riding solo, with a partner or have multiple partners. It makes me happy to see that many of you are looking to connect better with your body and resonate with Bloomi as your marketplace for all things (clean) sexual wellness and self-care. Below is a curated sexology Q&A to help you level up your solo sessions as well as some sex tool recs to help you get there.
How can masturbating help me feel more confident?
Being able to pleasure yourself doesn’t feel natural for some, especially if you are healing from sexual trauma or didn’t grow up talking about sex. However, when you learn what types of touch and movement you like (and don’t like), you are in control of your own pleasure and can also help teach your partner(s) how to please you. More control = more sexual agency = more sexual confidence. Consider May, National Masturbation Month, your friendly reminder to re-connect with your body and have some fun.
How can I explore my sexual energy with masturbation?
Sexual energy is all about being in the moment and using your senses. Try creating a full sensory ambiance with music, dim lighting, pleasant aroma and touch. View the experience as a form meditation. Overall, this helps you create a sacred space in your home that’ll deepen your exploration.
What products should I use to stimulate myself?
Investing in a nightstand collection is one of the nicest things you can do for yourself. The easiest place to start is a clean, feel-good liquid or a toy. If you like using your hands, consider the Bloomi Arousal Oil ($58), Coconu’s water-based lube ($24.99) or Foria’s Sex Oil ($48) to get started.
If you are in the market for a new toy, our marketplace offers a variety of internal and external toys. Lelo’s Sona 2 ($99) is great for clitoral stimulation. Chakrubs Rose Quartz Slim Heart ($129.99) is perfect for crystal-lovers seeking positive energy. Lelo’s Gigi 2 ($139) is ideal for multi-use and g-spot stimulation. And, finally, Dame’s Fin ($74.95) is nice for all-over stimulation.
Can masturbating relieve pain?
Yes, both vaginal stimulation and orgasms help relieve pain. When you have an orgasm, you release a cocktail of hormones including endorphins, which are the body’s natural pain-killing hormones.
Can self-pleasure impact my mood or sleep?
Yes and yes. Endorphins released during an orgasm can make you feel happier and more relaxed. When you orgasm, you also release oxytocin, which counteracts stress hormones that can help you fall asleep. Moreover, you release norepinephrine and serotonin, which help your body get into a flow of deeper sleep with REM sleep cycles.
What is mutual masturbation?
Mutual masturbation is when you masturbate with a partner. Whether separately (hello, LDRs!) or side-by-side, it can be a full-on sexy tutorial of self-masturbation while your partner watches or an equally pleasurable experience while the two of you stimulate one another. All are wonderful!