Anal sex can be a pleasurable experience for women and men alike. Although often portrayed aggressively in pornography, anal sex should be introduced slowly and with lots of communication. If you’re curious about anal-play, here is our introductory guide for newbies.
Try with toys (or a finger) first
Experimenting with small introductions (like a finger or small anal plug) can get you accustomed to the sensations. Make sure that whatever you insert has a solid base, otherwise you can risk getting an object uncomfortably lodged inside of you[1]. We suggest also looking for easy to clean materials (like medical-grade silicone).
Use a lot of lube
As with most types of sex, anal feels much better with lubrication. Since your anus doesn’t create its own lubricant, it’s especially important that you use enough lube to avoid tearing and to make the experience more comfortable. We recommend a water-based or silicone lubricant as they are condom-safe. Even if you’re in a fluid-bonded relationship, you may want to consider using a barrier-method. The barrier can make it easy to glide during penetration, prevents bacteria from spreading and makes for easier clean up. If you aren’t fluid-bonded, it is even more important to use a barrier-method as STI’s are more easily transmittable via anal sex.[2] Remember to always change the condom if you plan on moving from anal to vagina or oral sex.
Go Slow
While anal sex may feel different, you should never be in agony. If you’re in pain, be sure you speak up and stop. Slow and fluid thrusts can allow you to get accustomed to the stimulation and prevents tearing. Many people find being on top or having sex on their side to be the most comfortable for their first time. This allows the penetrator to have greater control during sex and makes it easy to stimulate their clitoris or erogenous zones.
Don’t forget clitoral stimulation
Just like other forms of sex, you want to make sure you’re giving the clitoris the proper attention it deserves. Many report feeling deeper and stronger orgasms during anal penetration, but you can only get there if you’re relaxed and stimulated.[3] If you want to go hands free, consider adding a toy.
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Sources
[1] https://www.bustle.com/p/the-8-best-anal-sex-toys-for-beginners-according-to-expert-56675
[2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3052332/
[3] https://www.health.com/sex/anal-orgasm
Vanessa Torres, MA
Vanessa Torres M.A. is a sexual health expert whose passions include harm-reduction and individual agency. Her work has been featured in Critical Public Health and the Journal of Homosexuality.
